Social Story About Not Getting What You Want

Four coping strategies — a different activity, a quiet space, deep breaths, or telling an adult — follow a first-person story about not getting your own way.

An educational teaching resource from SEN Resource Source entitled I Don't Always Get My Own Way – Social Story downloadable at Teach Simple.

Year groups: Not year specific
File type: PDF
Preparation: Print ready

Updated Sep 24, 2021

Subject: Social Skills, Special Resources
Topic: Social Skills, Autism
Preparation: Print ready

From the author

About this resource

Title: I Don’t Always Get My Own Way Social Story

This impactful teaching resource, popularly known as the 'I Don’t Always Get My Own Way Social Story', is aimed at educators who are in a mission to instill healthy social skills among their students. It uses a soft and comforting tone, making it particularly helpful for children on the autism spectrum who may find complex social cues overwhelming. The story focuses on:

Tutoring children about coping mechanisms when they don't get their way or face denials
Narrating in an entertaining manner that connects with kids' emotions of not getting what they want.
Showcasing expected reactions towards such disappointments and finally guiding them towards acceptable responses.

This tool is especially effective for any child having difficulty interpreting various situations or concepts. It plays a big role in understanding social skills or clues, perspectives, typical response behaviours, and anxiety management. Designed in form of a 17-page PDF file with vibrant clipart images, this tool manages to retain the attention of young users even upon multiple iterations. To ensure durability against repeated handling over time by many users, placement into display books or lamination preceding binding is recommended. Independence from specific grade levels makes this product versatile enough for application across different age groups based on comprehension abilities. Falling under Special Resources aimed at social skill development means it can be utilized effectively across different learning environments and methodologies. Use cases include:

Whole group instruction,
Small cluster groups,
Pace-defined individual learning setups,
In-home reinforcement as homework assignments.

To sum up this unique resource equips children with key strategies necessary to handle constructively when things haven't gone to plan – critical not only within schooling boundaries but also at home and later on while integrating into society as responsible adults.

In the classroom

Teaching tips & learning objectives

Learning objectives

Students will identify feelings, such as anger, sadness, and frustration, that can follow not getting their own way.
Students will state that they cannot control others' words or actions but can control their own reaction.
Students will name at least one of four coping strategies: doing something different, going somewhere quiet, taking deep breaths, or telling an adult.

Teaching tips

Read the story before a specific frustrating moment happens, so the four coping strategies are already familiar when they're needed.
Pair the locus-of-control statement on page 6 with a brief discussion, since it introduces an idea (you can't control others, only your reaction) that benefits from a concrete example.
Revisit the story after an actual disappointment occurs, prompting the child to name which of the four strategies they could try.

Skills covered

Emotional identification — naming feelings such as anger, sadness, and frustration that follow not getting one's way.
Locus-of-control reasoning — distinguishing what a child can and cannot control in a disappointing situation.
Coping-strategy selection — choosing among four named strategies (a different activity, a quiet space, deep breaths, telling an adult) to self-regulate.

Good to know